Baby you can drive my car (but I can't)

I have an embarrassing confession to make. I don't have a licence. Not a licence to thrill (or kill), but a drivers licence. I am 25, and still have my learners. This is something I don't advertise, as the looks of pity and disgust are something I don't feel like being the recipient of. But there it is. Out in the open.

I did get my learners at 16, and had a couple of lessons, but I wasn't really that interested, and I didn't want to learn to drive with my Mum. She’s a nervous driver, and god knows how she would have dealt with being a passenger to a novice driver.

Then, at 17 I got my learners again. And again I got a couple lessons, but I didn't click with the instructor, so I gave it away.
I lived in Canberra for a while, and the public transport system made it easy for me to get around without a licence, so I didn't feel the need to learn to drive.
When I moved back to the area I grew up in, the public transport was not so great, but I was still able to get around.

Ease of transport wasn't the only reason for not learning to drive. I was petrified of driving. I was in a car accident when I was 14, and part of me still feels that fear when I get into a car. Since I have left it so late to learn, I have put driving on a pedestal, so to speak. It has almost become something that is too scary, too hard to learn.And of course its a bit scary, but at the moment I feel I can only get behind the wheel when I am in the driving instructors car. He has an extra brake. This is important to me, because I know that if I make a mistake he can correct it nine times out of ten. I find it hard to practice driving in my boyfriends car, as I worry that I might make a mistake, and endanger his life. So I don't drive with him, and can only afford one or two driving lessons a week. And the cycle continues.

I know it seems ridiculous for a 25 year old not to have their licence, and I should just take a concrete pill and, well, you know. And i think that as well.

But this is the year. I'm going to do it. I'm going to learn how to drive!*

*anyone in NSW, and in QLD in December, consider yourself warned.