Facebook fueled feelings of failiure

Right now, I am at the age where a lot of friends are getting married, having children, or both. On facebook, like many people, I have become ‘friends’ with people I went to school with. I don't know why I have sought out these people, or accepted their friend requests. I barely talked to them at school- why would I talk to them now? Maybe my ego got the best of me.
But now, my ego is steadily becoming deflated. Every day, it seems, there is another facebook announcement, “so-and-so is engaged!” or “I’m pregnant!” or I am directed to someones classy wedding photos.
God help me.

These developments in peoples lives make me more jealous than finding out they’ve bought a house, graduated university or landed their dream job. What is wrong with me? It feels like somewhere inside me is a 50’s housewife, measuring worth on whether I can cook my husbands favourite meal and have his martini ready when he gets it, all the while looking fabulous.

I need a Bex and a good lie down.

What is it about being a woman that inspires such jealousy? Maybe that's why women are so bitchy- its jealousy worming its way into our psyche. Add tall poppy syndrome to that and you’ve got the green-eyed bitch monster. Which is how I feel sometimes when looking at photos of peoples weddings, or of their precious new baby. I know i should feel happy for them, but my own disappointment in not having what they have makes me resent them. I try to sooth my savage beast with thoughts of ‘its not my time yet’, ‘you can still do whatever you want’ and ‘it will happen when it happens’, but there is a small part of me that feels like a failure for not contributing to the human race.

This, of course, is ridiculous. It is a strange, useless pressure women put on ourselves. We will continue to judge ourselves based on people from our past and present, regardless of how good our lives are. What we need to remember is that there will always be someone jealous of our lives. Maybe one of my facebook friends who have had a child will long for the carefree days where they could go to the shops without a fully stocked nappy bad and three changes of clothes (for themselves).

We may not be able to stop ourselves from comparing our lives to other womens, but we need to step back and take stock of our own. Jealousy is a useless emotion, and helps no one. We can be happy for our friends, school mates, people on the street, while still feeling secure and content in our own.

Marriage and children is not the be all and end all for women.

Happiness is.